Advice From the Sex Goddess

Question of the Day 4/19/10

2010-04-19T07:53:00.000-07:00

Q: What cause a woman to have an extremely large clitoris? My girl has what amounts to be a "miniture" penis for a clitoris. And it is very sensitive that when I perform oral sex on hard she cums so hard and shakes all over the place! Is that a good thing?

A: Sometimes adrenal glands produce hormones during fetal development that cause women to be born with a larger clitoris. However, this doesn't upset its function, as the purpose of the clitoris is to give pleasure (a clitoris has more nerve endings than a penis!). Women's clitorises can be longer or shorter, thinner or wider, flat/less prominent or more obvious. The tip of the clitoris, known as the glans, may be visible or hidden. During arousal, the clitoris becomes swollen and changes position. If she cums hard and shakes, that means that you've done your job properly!

Question of the Day 4/12/10

2010-04-12T05:32:00.000-07:00

Q: Got a crazy question for ya. Why do men say crazy and stupid things when they're making love to you? I was with my boyfriend and he actually said to me "Jennifer your pussy is so dam good!" What does that suppose to mean? Is that suppose to be a compliment or just bullcrap coming from men? I'm really not sure how I feel about him saying that to me.

A: When people are in an orgasmic state, they can say exactly what they're thinking. If he tells you that it's good, it's meant as a compliment. He really enjoys your vagina and you should be happy abnout that. If you don't like the "dirty talk" then just tell him, not during sex of course!

Question of the Day 4/4/10

2010-04-04T00:31:00.000-07:00

Q: I am very big! I actually had my penis measured and it is 8--1/4 inches long. My girl is very faithful to me as I am to her. I think the fact is skinny women are built with deep vaginas, and I have other friends who have said the same thing.

A: That's not a fact. There are skinny women with shallow vaginas and with deep vagina's. Every vagina is different.

Question of the Day 3/31/10

2010-03-31T05:33:00.000-07:00

Q: I have a very skinny girlfriend (5'8"/103 pounds), but the funny thing is she is too big in the vagina area! It is as if my penis literally "falls into her vagina". I have heard it said about really skinny women that they usually have very deep vaginas. Why is that? Is there a logice to it?

A: Every woman's vagina is different. Some happen to be deeper or wider than others. Is your penis a big one? It just may not be a big enough penis to handle all of her vagina! Not to just solely pick on you, but your girlfriend may also be sleeping with people other than you! The vagina is a mucsle and when it's worked, it gets stretched, it is definitely possible that her vaginal muscle is over-worked. A trick to "vagina tightening" is kegal exercises. Try to subtly encourage your girldfriend to try these out.

Question of the Day 3/20/10

2010-03-20T05:01:00.000-07:00

Q: By the way, why do some women have really really big clitorises? I mean I've seen clitorises that looks like a miniture penis. When the clitoris is that large, is it uncomfortable and does it become too sensitive when she has panties and pants on? I've always been curious about that.

Thanks a million!

A: sometimes adrenal glands produce hormones during fetal development that cause women to be born with a larger clitoris. However, this doesn't upset its function, as the purpose of the clitoris is to give pleasure (a clitoris has more nerve endings than a penis!). Similar to a penis, the clitoris also varies in size, with a wide range of "normal." Women's clitorises can be longer or shorter, thinner or wider, flat/less prominent or more obvious. The tip of the clitoris, known as the glans, may be visible or hidden. During arousal, the clitoris becomes swollen and changes position.

A vagina is like a fingerprint. Everyone's is different. However, with a larger clitoris, the hood provides a necessary shield from over sensitivity and/or stimulation.

Question of the Day 3/17/10

2010-03-17T03:51:00.000-07:00

Q: I came across your blog and wanted to ask a personal question women as it relates to the actual sex act. As a man, I know how I feel when I am inside a woman and how it feels when I ultimately have an orgasm.

However, I have always wondered how women feel when a man's penis is inside of them? What is the feeling like exactly? Is it similiar to what men feel? How about the moment when women have their orgasm; is it similiar to that of men? I'll stop writing now and wait until you educate me on this matter.

Thank you so much!

A: I cannot gie you an exact description of what a penis feels like when it's inside a woman's vagina. Obviously, every woman is built differently and what what vagina may feel another may not. One woman may feel that sex with you in outstanding, while another may have felt it was boring. When a woman has an orgasm, it's like a strong rush of pleasure where everything is centered around the clitoris. The tension and pleasure builds and it feels like the clitoris is going to explode (this is a good thing). Afterwards most women feel themselves have little spasms and their vagina pulsates.

Question of the Day 3/15/10

2010-03-15T08:06:00.000-07:00

Q: Came across this site and thought I'd ask a question here and there. My girlfriend has an extremely "hairy" bush! I mean it is so harity that I literally have to part the hair to see her vagina entrance. Guess what? I love it!!!

She has been talking about shaving, but I don't want her to. How can I convince her that the very thought of her hairy beaver literally gives me an erection which speaks to my attraction to her in that manner? Hope you can help. By the way, is it common for women to have hairy vaginas? My girl is from pakistan which is common.

A: This is a fairly simple conversation to have with your girlfriend. Whenever she brings it up, just tell her that you really enjoy her having that hair and that it turns you on. Or, once you're engaging in sexual activity with her and you are "parting the hair to see her vaginal entrance" tell her how sexy you think that it is and that you would love for her to keep it. However, when you tell her that during that time, make sure you do it in a sensual and sexy voice, this will help to turn her on further.

In regards to your question, every woman has a hairy vagina. However, most women tend to "chop the hedges". They shave and wax to keep it at a level that they're comfortable with.

Question of the Day 3/4/2010 pt. 2

2010-03-04T16:08:00.000-08:00

Q: Hello there. Could you please help me with something that is deeply personal? Okay, here goes. I am a 26 year old man and I believe that I might be addicted to sex. I really love women! I mean I really love women.

Being inside the vagina of a woman absolutely just drives me nutts; I can't take the pleasure for very long. I feel out of control sometime but I am in control as I've never ever done anything wrong as it relates to my sexuality.

Now I want you to hold on to your seat. My girl is just as addicted to sex as I am! We love each other's body. When we are making love (if you can call it that) it appears that we are trying to hurt and kill each other because it feels that great! What in the hell is wrong with us? No other woman's vagina has ever done what my girl's does. She literally drives me out of my mind! Can you help this poor soul? What might be the problem?

I will wait for you.

A:You have an avid and rough sex life and there is nothing wrong with that! Some people (like myself) enjoy rough sex especially if it's with the right person. Not to mention, that rough sex can send your orgasmic feelings into the stratosphere! There is nothing wrong with you guys! On a side note, if you two do break up and you meet someone else, make sure that your new partner is into the same sexual escapades that you are into!

Question of the Day 3/4/2010 pt. 1

2010-03-04T16:03:00.000-08:00

Q: Are different ethnicities different in terms of the size of women's vaginas? I have been dating an Asian woman of late and we were sexually intimate for the first time two weeks ago, and upon penetration, I noticed that she seemed smaller down there than other women I've been with.

Yet, she is an average size Korean woman (5'6" 128 pounds). To be fair and honest, she didn't complain at all and seem to enjoy the experience. However, due to my knowledge of other races and ethnicities, she was clearly smaller than the others. Is that typical of Asian women? Or did I just happened to meet a smaller sized woman?

A: In short, everyone woman has a different vaginal size. That doesn't necessarily mean that it's according to race. There is no scientific evidence that links it to race, however, individuals to attribute it to race. As far as you're concerned, she just may have a smaller vagina, which may help you out because the tighter it is, the better the feeling.

Question of the Day 2/13/2010

2010-02-12T17:51:00.000-08:00

Q: ere is a question that may be hard for you to answer.What makes a woman make such loud noise when she is making love to a man? I know each person is different, but the woman I'm with is extremely loud as soon as I penetrate her vagina. It is to the point I have to tell her to be a little quiet but it doesn't seem to work. Yes, it is in one sense a turn on for me as I like to know I'm giving her that kind of pleasure but on the other hand, it worries me quite a bit for fear that someone might hear us. She claims it is an impulsive reaction and not done intentionally. What do you think?

A: There are a few explanations, one would be that your girlfriend probably has vaginismus, which is not as sexy as it sounds. There are muscles around the base of the vagina that tense up when the vagina is frightened. "It's like if you had your eyelids open, and you were looking, and a mosquito came by," says psychiatrist Domeena C. Renshaw of Loyola University Chicago Stritch School of Medicine. "Your eyelids would reflexively close." Now, for this analogy to work, you'll need to imagine your girlfriend's vagina as the eye and your penis as, not a mosquito, of course, but some smaller insect, like an aphid or a termite. Vaginismus is treated with counseling and a vaginal-dilation technique that you'd rather not hear about. And daily electroshock therapy. That's mandatory.

Or, her vagina may just be really sensitive to touch, it's as simple as that.

Question of the Day 1/27/2010

2010-01-27T05:59:00.000-08:00

Q: I've always wanted to know that when a man has an orgasm and releases sperm inside the woman, can the woman feel the sperm inside her at that moment of release? No one has been able to answer that question for me so I thought I'd give a try on one of these blogs.

A: Fisrt, let me say thank you for trying my blog! Now, with regard to your question about whether or not a woman can feel the man's sperm, the simple answer to that is that it depends on the woman. Some women report feeling it while others do not. The women that do not, report feeling his penis throb and release, but not the actual feeling of sperm moving.

Question of the Day 1/22/10

2010-01-22T16:22:00.000-08:00

Q: I'm not sure if you're qualified to answer this question, but I thought I'd ask anyway. Is there such a thing as penis enlargement? My boyfriend and I have been discussing this for several weeks but we are very skeptical about it. I know that there are pills claiming to make the penis larger, but we wonder if that is a proven fact or is it just more propaganda? We've also visited website where people claim to have had surgery to make their penises larger. Can you help us with this? I am very satisfied with my boyfriend's penis but he seems to want it about an inch longer.

A: If your boyfriend is set on getting a penile enlargement, then I recommend vistitng the local sex shop and buying an extender. You can easily slip it on and some enlargers add an additional two inches, which is the same amount added during a surgical procedure.

There are some surgical options for enlargement but I do not recommend them. There are 2 common surgeries to increase both length and girth, however, in my opinion, none seem safe or worth the risk. The first procedure involves the injection of fat or silicon into the penis. The surgery takes fat cells from elsewhere in the body and injects them below the surface of the skin of the shaft of the penis to increase the thickness of the penis. The penile shaft normally has little or no fat, and this method results in an unnatural appearance and feel, as well as risking radical shifting of the fat injected. A related method involves the injection of liquid silicone into the penis
and scrotum. This technique can cause an enormous increase in the girth of the penis (increasing the penis volume by over 900%) but is irreversible and may have side effects including loss of sensation, inability to perform penetrative intercourse, scarring and deformation. Injections of collagen, mineral oil, and even KY Jelly may have similar effects, but also may cause extreme scarring and permanent disfigurement.

The second type of increasing procedure involves cutting the suspensory ligament. This is the ligament that holds part of the penis inside the body. By cutting the
ligament, it will cause an increase in flacid length because the parts that are hidden except during erection are able to hang out of the body. This procedure lengthens the penis by up to two inches in some. However, it also means that, while the penis elongates and hardens with an erection, it can no longer become truly erect, but only hangs. The results of this surgery vary greatly between individuals, with some subjects reporting no measurable lengthening at all. 69% of people who have recieved the surgury say that it did not live up to their expectations.

As I've mentioned in previous posts, the average penis length is between 5 and 6 inches. It's not about size, but rather how it's used.

Question of the Day 1/20/2010

2010-01-20T10:47:00.000-08:00

Q: Hey there got a question for you. Why does a woman's vagina make what some call a "farting" sound when she is really excited? I've never understood that and it has happened when I have been with a woman. Why does the vagina make that noise? Is that common with some women or does every woman make that noise?

A: Vaginal "farts," or "varts" occur when air gets into the vagina during arousal and penetration. During arousal, the vagina lengthens and the uterus moves, creating more air space. Often, the "fart" occurs when the walls of the vagina and uterus return to their unaroused positions. Extra lube may make the difference.

Question of the Day 1/3/10

2010-01-03T12:08:00.000-08:00

Q: Could you give me a woman's perspective about something? We men tend to compare the women we've made love to and then decide who was better. I was wondering if women think like that as well? In other words is it possible for men to think that one woman's vagina feel better than another woman's? If so, do women think that a certain man's penis feels better than another man's penis? Is that really possible or is that just the way we talk when we are really pleased? If it is some truth to that , then what makes that happen from a biological point of view? Why would one woman feel better than the next woman? Thanks a million.

Kerry

A: Women definitely compare the men they've been intimate with. Some take the best aspects from each sexual experience and get their new partner to combine them for the ultimate sexual experience. Some men may be great, some may be ok, and some may be just plain bad, either way women definitely compare and contrast and may even discuss it with their friends. As far as the way the penis feels, it has to do with size, mainly girth, and how the man works his penis. If he just goes in and out and puts no rhythm into what he's doing, then it won't feel good. A biog penis is not a guarantee of a great sexual experience. Again, if you don't know what you're doing, it doesn't matter if you're hung like a horse!

It is definitely possible for a man to think that one woman's vagina feels better than another's. Some of these reasons could be that one woman's vagina doesn't produce enough moisture which can cause friction; not a very comfortable experience. Also, some women may be more loose than what is normal, which causes the vaginal walls not to feel tight around the penis. Kegal exercises should easily be able to take care of that problem; kegals also work well during sex.

Direct any further questions to
advicefromthesexgoddess@gmail.com

Question of the Day 11/29/09

2009-12-29T16:00:00.000-08:00

Q: Sexgoddess, could you please answer something for me? All my young and adult life, all I've ever heard is the most sensitive part of a woman's vagina is at the very opening with the connection to the clitoris.

If that is really true, then why do people and many women I might add makes such a fuss over the size of a man's penis? I mean if the opening area is the area with the most blood vessels and nerve endings, then why all the fuss about "deep" penetration, touching the g-spot, etc. I'm really confused. Which is it? Beginning/Opening of vagina or deeper within?

Will await your response with eager anticipation.

Jesse

A: You pose a very good question. I'm under the impression that most women think that size matters because they think the g-spot is further back. THIS IS NOT THE CASE! I have written a blog on how to find the g-spot and a penis is not needed. Also, as far as penises go, it's not about length, but rather about girth. Truth be told, a study showed that the average penis size is between 5 and 6 inches! It's what you do with the penis that counts! I have encountered big men who didn't have a clue what they were doing!

You hve heard correct that the clitoris is the most sensitive part. For a woman's orgasm, her body's response is the same whether or not stimulation originates from the clitoris or the vagina. It's much easier for women to orgasm through clitoral rather than vaginal stimulation because the clitoris is where the nerve endings are.

Direct any further questions to
advicefromthesexgoddess@gmail.com

Question of the Day 12/25/09

2009-12-24T22:00:00.000-08:00

Q: Hello there sex goddess, I want to ask you something that is a little strange for me. I am 19 years old and believe I had my very first orgasm recently.

My mom and other girlfriends have tried to describe them to me, but all I know is I got this very unusal feeling in my lower stomach/pelvic area and I felt very light. It was a very nice experience. However, at just 19, I confess that I am not an expert as to how to know when I've had a major orgasm. Could you help me out please?

Thank You

Debbie

A: Debbie, everyone experiences an orgasm in their own way. Some people soak the sheets and some scream loud enough to wake the neighbors, while others may experience a more subdued response. An orgasm is a reflex, that is accompanied by pleasurable feelings, that occurs when the body experiences sexual stimulation. Orgasm reverses the bodily processes of increased blood flow into the genitals and muscular tension that occur during sexual arousal, suddenly releasing built-up tension and allowing the body to return to its un-aroused state.

It is the height of sexual stimulation. if you're not sure if you've ever had one, you haven't. When you do, you WILL know, and so will your partner. Also, during regular intercourse, it's rare for women to have an orgasm unless you and your partner are experienced. Every woman doesn't achieve an orgasm with each sexual experience.

Direct any further questions to
advicefromthesexgoddess@gmail.com

New Format

2009-12-20T12:18:00.000-08:00

Due to restrictions on my time, I will no longer be able to post random facts and information, I will just make this a question and answer site. Keep your questions coming and I will respond to them as quickly as possible.

Question of the Day 12/17/09

2009-12-17T05:22:00.000-08:00

Q: Got a question for you concerning women in their 40's. I've always been told that when women reach their 40's, they become "extremely hot" like no other time in their lives.

I am 26 and had sex with a 44 year old woman, and I can say hands now that no other woman has ever done to me what this woman did! She as not only very skilled in what she did, but she clearly had the stamina, excitement, and could easily outlast me in the bed. So was that just that 40 plus year old woman or is there some measure of truth that women become "firecrackers" in their 40's? Thanks.

A: Sexual prime is a total myth! There is no physiological peak, and no spike in hormones. No changes in the endocrine system. The whole notion is an artifact of time.

As women get older, most tend to release their inhibitions about sex. In your situation, it may be that she is very experienced in sex and has picked up tricks.

Bacterial Vaginosis

2009-12-09T16:34:00.000-08:00

Bacterial vaginosis is caused by a change in the types of bacteria that live in the vagina. The amount of lactobacillus in the vagina becomes unbalanced and there's an overgrowth in other kinds of bacteria, such as Gardnerella vaginalis.

The best way to prevent this type of infection is to keep the vaginal area from getting too moist. You can do this by wearing cotton underwear, applying baby powder with baking soda around your creases, and taking oral supplements that contain acidophilus. Supplements balance the body's pH, as well as the organisms in your gastrointestinal tract, which helps balance the bacteria in the vagina.

Question of the Day 12/9/09

2009-12-09T16:20:00.000-08:00

Q: hey, I wanted to ask you something that I have tried to ask others but they can't seem to help me. Is it possible for a woman to be allergic to a man's semen?

In the last 3 years, I have dated 2 men exclusively, and I notice that every time they have an orgasm, my vagina seem to get infected.

We've all been tested for every STD under the Sun and we are all clean. I have an appointment on Thursday to see my OB/GYN doctor, and she has said that based on what I've shared, it sounds like I might be having an allergic reaction to my boyfriend's semen. What do you think? Have you ever heard of such a thing?

thanks

A: Based on what you've described, I have to agree with your OB/GYN. It does sound as if you are allergic to semen, which is not at all unusual. Semen has a protein called human seminal plasma protein hypersensitivity (SPH). It's possible to have allergies to common proteins found in most men's semen or to have allergies to a specific person's proteins. Reactions to contact with semen may include localized pain, itching, redness and swelling, or systemic responses, such as hives or trouble breathing. Most symptoms typically start within 20-30 minutes of contact and can last for hours or days. The severity of the reaction depends on your personal body chemistry.

If you're experiencing redness or itching around the vagina, other potential explanations may include a yeast infection or bacterial vaginosis, which means there is an increase in harmful bacteria and a decrease in good bacteria in your vagina.

Keep your appointment with your GYN and get a definite diagnosis.

Direct any further questions to
advicefromthesexgoddess@gmail.com

Question of the Day 11/30/09

2009-11-30T09:26:00.000-08:00

Q: I was raised to allow the men to pursue me and not the other way around. I am a bit confused given that we are in a different era from our parents.

Is it okay for me to let my boyfriend know that I want him sexually? I mean whenever I'm having that unique and special feeling between the legs, would it make me less of a woman to call him and initiate sexual intercourse?

A: There is nothing wrong with you being the pursuer. It doesn't make you les of a woman, it makes you a better woman for being able to communicate your feelings with your partner and not suppressing your sexual urges in order to wait for him. Remember that women have the advantage, and a lot of men actually find it more attractive and sexy when a woman is the initiator of sex.

Is There a Substitute for the Morning-After Pill?

2009-11-30T09:08:00.000-08:00

Plan B is the only product that is specifically sold as a "morning after" pill. You can get it without a prescription if you are 18 or older. However, normal birth control pills also contain progestin, which is the key ingredient in Plan B, so birth control pills can be substituted for Plan B. The wiser choice is still Plan B, though, primarily because it requires that you take only two pills.
However, you should speak with your doctor before beginning any emergency contraception methods. For popular forms of birth control and the correct dosage for their use as emergency contraception, ask further questions.

Direct any further questions to
Advicefromthesexgoddess@gmail.com

Sex With a Yeast Infection

2009-11-22T15:36:00.000-08:00

Ladies, this is a NO NO! Yeast infections are contagious, which means you could pass your infection to your partner. So treat the infection before you engage in sexual activity! This includes oral! Since just one dose of many medications can now cure a yeast infection, there is no reason to risk spreading the infection to your partner. Just one dose of many medications can cure a yeast infection, there is no reason to risk spreading the infection to your partner!

You can try to avoid yeast infections by taking certain precautions. First, be sure to wear underwear with a cotton crotch, and never wear "G-string" thongs (unless you are playing dress up for your partner!). G-strings chafe the vagina and place you at greater risk for all types of infections! Second, don't douche unless absolutely necessary. The vagina has a delicate acid-base balance that can be thrown out of whack by unnecessary and harmful cleansers. All you need to clean the region is a little warm water and soap. Third, always change out of wet swimsuits right away; bacteria tend to grow in dank and damp environments. Fourth, be sure to include healthy bacteria in your diet, such as those found in yogurt.

DIrect any further questions to
advicefromthesexgoddess@gmail.com!

Question of the Day 11/22/09

2009-11-22T14:54:00.000-08:00

Q: Can scarring from a urethral tear affect my fertility? I had surgery to correct it a few years ago, and I got pregnant then. About three months ago I began to have the same problems again. Could this be the same problem?

A: In women, disorders of the urethra are unlikely to have any effect on fertility. Urethral tears may mean different things for different women. In some women, urethal disorders can cause pain, while in others urinary incontinence with some leakage of urine may occur. Neither of these conditions should have a significant effect on fertility, though. Whether or not an underlying disorder is affecting both the urethra and fertility status is something that would require more sophisticated evaluation by an OB/GYN specialist.

DIrect any further questions to
advicefromthesexgoddess@gmail.com

Healthy Sex With Herpes

2009-11-14T18:50:00.000-08:00

Forty-five million Americans, or nearly one in five people, have herpes. Another 100 million Americans have oral herpes, aka cold sores, though there is far less of a stigma associated with that strain. All chronic STDs are the result of a virus that can never be eliminated from the body; however, many options exist for managing them.

A healthy, happy sex life is absolutely possible with herpes! A healthy lifestyle will help minimize herpes episodes. Getting enough sleep, eating right, and minimizing stress all go a long way toward keeping breakouts to a minimum. Several medications on the market also help. Initiating sex with a new partner requires honesty! Everyone has something they don't like about their sexuality or their past. You should be clear about your diagnosis at the beginning of a relationship and if your partner is not willing to work around it, then he is not the right person for you!

Though there is a small risk of passing on the virus when you don't have any lesions, studies have show that consistent condom use largely minimizes this risk. When you have a visible herpes outbreak, sexual activity should be avoided entirely. This includes oral sex too, since herpes can be passed from the mouth to the genitals.

A good way to begin easing your way back to a regular sex life may be to check out online dating sites for people with chronic STDs. Though you don't have to limit yourself to them forever, it's a good place to start.

Direct any further questions to
advicefromthesexgoddess@gmail.com

Question of the Day 11/14/09

2009-11-14T18:33:00.000-08:00

Q: I was wondering if there is such a thing as being over lubricated vaginally speaking? I was wondering if there is such a thing as being over lubricated vaginally speaking? For some reason I get what I believe to be over lubricated when I am aroused sexually. If my husband just blows on my breasts I immediatedly begin to become extremely wet. Sometimes I don't like that feeling and was wondering if there can be anything done about it and even if other women have similiar experiences?

A: What you've described doesn't sound like any vaginal infection with increased discharge. This obviously would have to be treated. It sounds more as if you simply lubricate very easily. It's nothin gto be ashamed of. I myself lubricate very easily. Lubrication is definitely a good thing because you don't want to cause friction which can make sex uncomfortable. I bet you that many women who read this question of the day will be quite envious, since lack of lubrication is such a common concern!

Lubrication is not necessarily related to how aroused you are! Some women who may feel very sexually aroused don't produce very much lubrication, while others like you and I have a much easier time "getting wet". As women age and go through normal changes, including childbirth and maybe breast-feeding (which typically reduces vaginal lubrication), the amount of lubrication may also vary. But this of course does not help you very much right now!

When you say you get "over lubricated," it sounds as if you might be describing female ejaculation or G-spot orgasms, which can cause women to become very wet. They may be the cause of spontaneous orgasms (I discused spontaneous orgasms on Question of the Day 9/24/09). If you or your husband is disturbed by it, you can remedy the situation by having intercourse first and then having him help you climax, either through manual or oral stimulation. This might help prevent your genitals from becoming as lubricated during intercourse, since you will not reach orgasm until afterward.

You may also want to try kegal exercises during the times that you and your husband start any type of sexual activity that you think will cause you to lubricate. If Kegel exercises dOn't reduce your wetness, they are still an important part of your sexual health, since they help strengthen a woman's pelvic floor and improve her sexual response.

Try those techniques the next time you and your husband engage in sexual activity, if they don't work, shoot me an email and I will try to offer other solutions.

Direct any further questions to
advicefromthesexgoddess@gmail.com

Can a Man be Too Big?

2009-11-09T07:54:00.000-08:00

I sometimes get asked whether or not a man can be too big and whether or not it's safe. Rest assured that there is no danger in having sex with a man who has a large penis. The only concerns would be discomfort and pain. If he really is large, then his penis will most likely hit your cervix, which is the base of the uterus.

However, a woman's uterus and cervix will usually rise when she is aroused, and will actually lengthen the vagina and prevent the penis from reaching the cervix. If this does not happen in your case, it could be because you are not aroused enough throughout sex.

To increase your excitement during sex, allow time for foreplay. Foreplay is definitely the key! You should definitely take things slowly, use lots of lube, and spend plenty of time on sex! You can also try the woman-on-top position, which will help control the thrusting and the deepness of the penis. This position might also help you feel more in control of sex, which can sometimes lessen anxiety during intercourse.

Direct any further questions to
advicefromthesexgoddess@gmail.com

Question of the Day 11/9/09

2009-11-09T07:37:00.000-08:00

Q: Okay, I want you to be brutally honest with me. I have heard it said that size doesn't matter to women, but my girlfriend actually looked me in the face and told me that she wish I were a bit bigger. In trying not to be too graphic, I am nearly 7 inches, and what what I can read and research, my size is actually above average. What advice can you give me? Does that mean that my girl will seek other men in a quest to find someone bigger? I appreciate your time.

A: Whether or not size matters depends upon the woman. Me personally, I don't think that it does. There are some men with big penises that are lousy in bed. It usually is not the size, it's what you do with it! In fulfilling your wish of me being brutally honest, I have to tell you that maybe she wishes you were bigger because you're not satisfying her. Try different positions and even rotate your penis while it is in the vagina to help induce pleasure for her. Also, if that doesn't work and she just happens to like longer penises (possibly because her vagina is too stretched out from overuse or it is longer than the average woman)there are things that you can do. If you look back through the blog, I posted an article about the hottest sex toys on the market. Included in the list was the Beaded Silicone Pleasure Set (from starship enterprise) it's a beaded silicone penis extension. It adds an extra 2 inches for maximum penitration. There was also the Deep Diver Dolphin Enhancer W/Beads (also from starship enterprise). Its enhancer adds support and girth for you, while the dolphin stimulator provides triple stimulation for her! Try those products and if they don't help, then your girls vagina is out of whack! You might also want to suggest kegals to her. It's the contrction of the pelvic floor. Doiong them during sex adds extra pleasure.

Direct any further questions to
advicefromthesexgoddess@gmail.com

Question of the Day 11/04/09

2009-11-04T08:40:00.000-08:00

Q: I have three kids and I can honestly say that I've never had an orgasm. Is this normal? What can I do to have one?

A: It is normal for a woman to have a hard time reaching an orgasm through sexual intercourse. In actuality, only 30% of women orgasm regularly from vaginal penetration alone.

Since you are a mother of three, I assume that you're busy and rarely have time for yourself, however, you need to make time for the sake of your sex life! To start, try masturbating without the main goal being to reach orgasm. Do whatever feels pleasurable and allow yourself to enjoy the sensations! In addition to masturbating, try a vibrator; you can use it alone as well as with your partner.

Once you learn how to reach orgasm on your own, incorporate the knowledge into lovemaking with your partner. Remember to try new things, explore your bodYy, and relax!

Direct any further questions to
advicefromthesexgoddess@gmail.com

How to Achieve an Orgasm

2009-11-04T08:25:00.000-08:00

First, you should try to incorporate some form of relaxation into your daily life. Cortisol which is the stress chemical can actually decreases libido! So the less stress you have, the more likely you are to achieve an orgasm. Daily exercise such as yoga or aerobics, can help get your mind and body on board. Secondly, try implementing a little self-love in your life. Your partner won't know how to please you if you don't know how to please yourself! Set aside a time when you can be alone and relax. Touch your vagina and find out what types of movement and touches are pleasurable. However, focus on having an orgasm, just try to enjoy yourself and explore your body. The clitoris is often the spot that women find to be most orgasmic, so be liberal when exploring that area. The more knowledgeable you become about your own pleasure and your body, the more likely you will be to reach orgasm; whether alone or with a partner.

Direct any further questions to
advicefromthesexgoddess@gmail.com

Is Vaccination Right for You?

2009-11-02T11:32:00.000-08:00

The human papillomavirus (HPV) infects the cells of the cervix during sexual activity. 70-90% of these infections go away without treatment mostly through the shedding of cells on the surface of the cervix and vagina. The virus may persist in 10-30% of cases. When the virus persists, there's an increased risk for cancer (cervical and vaginal) and genital warts; it generally takes ten years from the time of infection with the virus to the development of an HPV-related cancer.

Reports of adverse events after receiving the HPV vaccine have been making headlines, with questions of the safety of the vaccine raised by consumers, parents, healthcare professionals, and others.

However, after analyzing the claims, the CDC and FDA have released joint statements regarding the safety of the vaccine. "Based on ongoing assessments of vaccine safety information, the FDA and CDC continue to find that Gardasil is a safe and effective vaccine, The benefits continue to outweigh the risks," they said. "This vaccine is an important cervical cancer prevention tool," they added. The manufacturer also issued a statement, dated July 10, 2008, saying it too had analyzed available data and it "believes that no safety issue related to the vaccine has been identified. These types of events are events that could also be seen in the general population, even in the absence of vaccination."

Whether or not the vaccine is right for you, is a decision that you should come to based upon a detailed discussion with your primary physician.

Direct any further questions to
advicefromthesexgoddess@gmail.com

Question of the Day 11/2/09

2009-11-02T11:13:00.000-08:00

Q: My husband and I had sex and I forgot that I had a tampon in. It didn't hurt, but afterward I had a hard time finding the string; eventually I did. Could this have damaged me in any way? Should I tell my gynecologist or be concerned?

A: Plenty of women have experienced a lost or hard to find tampon, because of either leaving a tampon in during sex or forgetting to remove the tampon. If you haven't experienced any type of pain or inflammation of the vagina since the sex, then you don't need to be concerned. Soreness or tenderness might result from small lacerations or bruising, but it's unlikely and not a cause for concern. However, in the future always remember to remove your tampon during intercourse and to replace tampons every four to six hours to prevent an infection.

Direct any further questions to
advicefromthesexgoddess@gmail.com

Bad Body Image Ruining Sex?

2009-10-31T14:02:00.000-07:00

Are you uncomfortable with your body and it's affecting your sex life with the man/woman of your dreams? Well, the only person who can effectively change how comfortable you are with your body is you. If your insecurities are affecting your sex life with a man or woman that you love, then it’s crucial to address the reasons why you feel so insecure. Start with things like, does he make you feel unattractive? Do you always feel unattractive, or just when you’re having sex? What about your body makes you the most insecure? To feel more positive about your body, you need to pinpoint what makes you the most uncomfortable and why that is.

It’s going to require complete honesty between you and your partner. Engage in a dialogue and ask him to tell you what he finds the most attractive about you, and what turns him on the most. If you know what turns him on, you’ll be more likely to utilize that during sex.

If you’re worried about him seeing you naked, then start slowly with the lights off. For a week or so, try having sex with minimal lighting and then, as you continue on, increase the lighting until you’re fully comfortable having sex with him while he can see your whole body.

Be honest with yourself about why you have these insecurities about your body You need to trust that if he/she really is the man/woman of your dreams, then he/she does find you attractive and wants to have sex with you. If you aren’t able to relax with your partner, sex won’t be as satisfying as you want it to be. Relax and trust, and you’ll be able to have the sex of your dreams.

Direct any further questions to
advicefromthesexgoddess@gmail.com

Question of the Day 10/31/09

2009-10-31T13:32:00.000-07:00

Q: Hello, how do I communicate to my boyfriend that there are times when I don't want to have intercourse but to just be held? Men don't seem to understand a woman's need to be cuddled and held and not be penetrated. Thanks in advance for the advice.

A: Communicating that sex is not desired when your partner wants it can be a very difficult predicament. When your partner wants sex and you don't, you need to communicate your desires for a simple cuddle at an early enough time so as not to be seen or viewed as a tease. Once your partner starts to engage you in foreplay or the erly stages of intercourse, tell him with as much sincerity and tact that you can muster, that you just want to cuddle. Be subtle, but not too subtle; make sure you get your point across. You can say simple things like, "honey, will you just hold me" or other variations of that simple little phrase.

If you find that being subtle doesn't work for you, then you just have to plainly say that you do not want sex and that you aren't in the mood. The direct approach does work very well, however, it is the subtle approach that will prevent a bruised ego.

Direct any further questions to
advicefromthesexgoddess@gmail.com

Is He Gay?

2009-10-28T15:06:00.000-07:00

If a man enjoys anal masturbation, does it mean that he's gay? Well, due to religious and cultural mores, anal sex and anal play is looked at as something dirty or sick. On the contrary, many people enjoy it!

A man's prostate gland is located just in front of the rectum; it can be massaged by a finger inserted in the anus, which will elicit an orgasmic feeling. Also, the perineum which is located between the anus and the scrotum is filled with tiny nerves and feels incredible when it's stroked or touched.

If a man does enjoy anal play, it does not necessarily mean that he's gay. If most men were honest about it, they'd probably admit that anal play is very pleasurable. If you feel comfortable indulging your partner's fantasy with anal play, then by all means do so. There are no rules in the bedroom! As long as the sex is physically and emotionally healthy then go for it!

Direct any further questions to
advicefromthesexgoddess@gmail.com

Question of the Day 10/28/09

2009-10-28T14:41:00.001-07:00

Q: I've heard if you abstain from sex for a long time, you are medically considered a virgin again. Is this true? If so, how long do you have to abstain? Are there other ways to become a virgin again?

A: There is no physical way to become a virgin again or to be "re-virginized". A lot of people follow emotional and spiritual paths to become a "born again virgin", however, it has no effect on the physical aspects of virginity.

If you want to become a born again virgin, speak with your religious advisor regarding the necessary steps. From a physical standpoint, it's true that "if you don't use it, you lose it." If there isn't very much blood flow to the genital area, you can and will experience atrophy and dryness, which will most definitely create a feeling of tightness and sometimes pain once you begin sexual intercourse again that may be similar to what you would feel if you were a virgin.

If you desire to be "re-virginized" because you feel that you have lost some vaginal tightness, try strengthening your pelvic floor. Kegel exercises are wonderful for pelvic floor tightening. You can isolate your Kegel muscles by identifying the muscles that you use to start and stop your urine flow. To strengthen these muscles, contract and release them by tightening and relaxing them numerous times throughout the day. You could also try doing Kegels during sex to tighten the vagina and increase sensation.

Direct any further questions to
advicefromthesexgoddess@gmail.com

Edible Lotion Recipe

2009-10-25T02:15:00.000-07:00

Here is a recipe for an edible warming lotion.

2 oz. glycerin
1/2 oz. corn syrup
1/2 tsp. flavoring extract (such as vanilla; your choice, you have to taste it!)

Combine all ingredients and apply with fingertips, tongue, or anything else your heart desires!

Note: you can purchase glycerin from a drug store or usually in the grocery store down the baking aisle. Also note that this will only create a small amount; just enough for the area you plan on licking the most. However to make enough for the full body, just simply add more ingredients until you get the desired quantity.

direct any further questions to
advicefromthesexgoddess@gmail.com

5 Ways to Increase the Excitement

2009-10-25T01:55:00.000-07:00

Are you worried that your relationship is becoming mundane? Then it's time to try something new! Here are some suggestions to help you get out of the rut. Start slowly with number one, or for the ambitious couple, go all the way and try them all! The most important thing is that you and your partner feel comfortable with any additions to your sexual routine.

(.) (.) Create a fantasy. Try combining your secret desires into a fantasy that both of you can share and enjoy. Think about what turns you both on and what you'd like to have your partner do to you and vice versa. This is a good way to get the sexual energy flowing!

(.) (.) Make it real. If you want to go further, act out your fantasy, in or out of the bedroom! For example, you may want to try pretending you don't know each other in public places and then pick each other up and take each other home or wherever you would have a sexual experience with a stranger (remember what I said about moving the love around!).

(.) (.) Play with props. Props can help send your love making into the stratosphere, or put you inside an alternate reality while in the bedroom ( or any other place!). Try things like furry handcuffs or edible oils (I have homemade recipes), or dress up as someone from a fantasy.

(.) (.) Seek adventure. Try something adventurous. The chemical reaction produced by new activities is similar to the feelings you experience at the beginning of a new relationship. Try something that really gets your adrenaline rushing.

(.) (.) Keep active. Explore new activities as a couple, especially ones that use your body. Try tennis lessons, yoga, or massage classes. Choose something that engages you and teaches you something new that you can share.

Direct any further questions to
advicefromthesexgoddess@gmail.com

Question of the Day 10/24/09

2009-10-24T20:48:00.000-07:00

Q: I'm 26 and I've had 3 children. My vagina has gotten so loose that a penis can't fill it. Did this happen because I vaginally gave birth to 3children? Is there anything that I can do to make it less loose? WIll an operation fix it?

A: This can be a very common problem for women who have given birth vaginally. However, there are many exercises that can be done to restore the vaginas elasticity, for example, Kegel exercises. Kegels strengthen the pelvic floor and the pelvic muscles are the backbone of sexual response. You'll be able to find your Kegel muscles by inserting a finger into your vagina and then tightening the muscles around it. Squeeze those muscles on a regular basis, first with slow then with faster repetitions.

The best thing about Kegel exercises is that you can do them anywhere, in the car, during a meeting, or lying in bed. You can also purchase pelvic exercisers to help with your Kegels. Insert a pelvic exerciser into your vagina and then clench your muscles around it. Remeber to incorporate Kegels into your daily routine.

There are other "sexercises" that you can do as well, including yoga positions that can strengthen the pelvic floor and heighten sexual response. Finally, surgery is an option to tighten a loose vagina, however, most complaints can be solved by a few pelvic exercises, so start practicing!

Direct any further questions to
advicefromthesexgoddess@gmail.com

Which Birth Control Method is Best?

2009-10-19T15:08:00.000-07:00

For some of my most sexually active clients, I get asked which method of birth control is best. That usually is a conversation that's reserved for a medical doctor, however, I am equipped to answer it as well.

The only birth control that I would ever recommend to anyone is a latex condom or a diaphragm. I would never recommend the patch, shot, pill, or any surgical implantation. My reason for this is that there is no need to undergo uncomfortable procedures and altering your hormone levels for the sake of preventing a pregnancy. The latex condom and diaphragm when used correctly have the exact same percentage (99.99%) of preventing pregnancy of any other method.

I especially dislike oral contraceptives and the shot because of the side effects that accompany them. Those side effetcs include nausea, weight gain, swore or swollen breats, soptting blood in between menstrual cycles, mood changes, abdominal pain, chest pain, headaches, vision problems, and swelling and aching in the legs and thighs. The more serious side effects cause blood clots, heart or liver disease
and breast and unterine cancer.

All of that is unnecessary ladies! Simply pop in your diaphragm or make your man wrap it up in a latex condem and you'll be fine. I am aware of the fact that condems can and do break, however, when used properly, the chances of that happening are very rare. The chances are further decreased when you add lube on the outside and inside of the condem.

I know these side effects can be rare, however, why take the chance of it happeneing to you when you don't need to?

Direct any further questions to
advicefromthesexgoddess@gmail.com

Question of the Day 10/19/09

2009-10-19T00:25:00.001-07:00

Q: I know women usually gives signals when they are in the mood for lovemaking. I was wondering when a woman goes out on the town to party and she has a really nice and sexy thong that accentuates her nice big Ass, does that mean that she is ready for the possibility of intercourse?

A: Not necessarily. Some women just like to dress scantily clad because it makes them feel sexy. Sexual intercourse doesn't always accompany feeling sexy. Some women like the attention and it is a self confidence booster. Although, some women do dress scantily clad to entice men or even women for sexual activities so I would recommend that you take your chances. Don't just flat out ask her for sex. Have a little tact and be subtle. Start with casual flirting and a little playful touching if she allows it. For some women, just bluntly asking can turn her off and you may experience rejection. However, if she's in the mood and you play your cards right, she may be willing to go there with you.

Direct any further questions to
advicefromthesexgoddess@gmail.com

Lube it up!

2009-10-17T23:43:00.000-07:00

Something that I always run into with speaking with women is vaginal dryness. They start out wet and then during sex will start to get dry. The answer is quite simple! VAGINAL LUBRICANT! If anything other than diamonds can be a girls best friend, it's lube!

You can find lubricants in the same aisle as condoms. If you're prone to yeast infections, be sure to use lubes with low glycerin content. When you're having sex, your partner can put a few drops inside the tip of the condom before he puts it on for his comfort and pleasure, then you can apply it around your vaginal opening. If you happen to get dry during sex, then add a few more drops. Both parties applying lube not only makes things feel great for you and your partner, but does an amazing job of preventing condoms from breaking. The dryness and friction is what causes condoms to break.

Lubricants can also help to prolong lovemaking sessions and make masturbation sessions better for men. It's also required for anal sex. Lubricants on the market fall into one of three categories, Water-based, Silicone-based, and Oil-based.

I can't personally recommend a particular brand of lube because I have never had the need for it. However, some of the hottest lubes on the market are KY Jelly and Astroglide.

Direct any further questions to
advicefromthesexgoddess@gmail.com

Question of the Day 10/17/09

2009-10-17T19:21:00.000-07:00

Q: Is it safe to have sex while I have a urinary tract infection? Is there anything I should be worried about or do beforehand?

A: I would never recommend having sex while you are suffering from a urinary tract infection, commonly known as a UTI, because it could worsen the symptoms, especially if you haven't finished taking the full course of antibiotics. Also, sex might be uncomfortable if you are still suffering from the burning that is associated with UTIs.

Although, if you do decide to have sex, make sure you urinate before and after sex and drink plenty of water. This may help you overcome the current infection and help prevent infections in the future.

Direct any further questions to
advicefromthesexgoddess@gmail.com

Hottest Sex Toys on the Market!

2009-10-15T20:46:00.000-07:00

Ok ladies, are you single and need to take the edge off? Or are you someone that's trying to find new and invigorating ways to please your special lady in the bedroom? If you answered yes to any of these questions, then KEEP READING. Here is a list of the hottest sex toys around. Don't be frightened by the toys! They are here to help you and make sex the fun and enjoyable experience that it should be!

Here is my top 5 list for the single ladies!
Please note that these fall into no particular order. I like these all equally!

(.) (.) 10 Function Flexor Elephant
The elephant is powerful, waterproof, high quality, and has unscented jelly arousers bend to the perfect angle for erogenous zone stimulation! It's equipped with 10 exciting functions of vibration, pulsation, and escalation with push button controls in the base for ease of use. Take this baby to the bedroom or the bath tub! Wherever you feel like getting sexy!

(.) (.) Love Machine
This is for the single lady who is not shy about spending big bucks to receive the ultimate orgasm on her own! This machine is amazing! You can lie on your back and let it to all the work! It offers total angle adjustability, variable speed, stroking & thrusting, & five multi-speed functions of vibration and pulsation! Includes 6 different pleasure attachments: masturbation sleeve (for men that want to get in on the pleasure), bullet vibe, five-inch vibe, textured vibe, G-Spot vibe, & anal plug.

(.) (.) 5 Function Love Bullet
This is double the fun! Five function Love Bullet is doubled up with two bullets attached to the same controller! Erotic exploration can be done two places at once.

(.) (.) Deep Suction G-Spotter
The suction cup at the base sucks on the clitoris. The G-Spot tip shape provides pin pointed vibrations to your special spot. There's an extra large multi-speed bullet in the tip of the shaft. Another waterproof toy!

(.) (.) Of course, no sex list for the single ladies would be complete without a dildo. This should be picked by preference. There are different variations of color, shape, and size.

Here is my top 5 list for the men interested in stepping up the pleasure!

(.) (.) Beaded Silicone Pleasure Set
This little baby is a 5.5 inch beaded silicone penis extension. It adds an extra 2 inches for maximum penitration! Or, if you are already well endowed, you can slip it over your whole penis and the beads will rub against the vagina adding an intense feeling.

(.) (.) Deep Diver Dolphin Enhancer W/Beads
This is versatile, soft, comfortable, and stretchy. Its enhancer adds support and girth for him, while the dolphin stimulator provides triple stimulation for her! The pleasure beads are strategically placed for added sensations, and a removable, waterproof, wireless micro-stimulator adds powerful vibrations.

(.) (.) Esse
Your fantasy positions are suddenly possible, your favorite positions more effective and those fun but awkward ones are now comfortable for both partners with the esse! It's perfectly shaed for trying out positions. It's a love-craft with killer curves and serious style! It offers endless opportunities in sex-ploration. You won't have a problem hiding this little baby from the kids because it doubles as a chaise lounge.

(.) (.) Double Diver
The Double Diver gives ample support for him with powerful vibrations for her. It has a flexible penetrator with bendable shaft for perfect “double diving” positioning.

(.) (.) 4 Play Kit
This is a comprehensive kit for lovers! It includes anal beads and clitoral stimulators.

Now, I wouldn't tell you all to try these products if I haven't tested them out myself! I have and I swear by them! I have never had one dull sexual moment with the use of these accessories!

Direct any further questions to
advicefromthesexgoddess@gmail.com

Question of the Day 10/15/09

2009-10-15T17:07:00.000-07:00

Q: I am pregnant and I was wondering whether or not it's dangerous to have sex during pregnancy. Can it affect the baby at all?

A: Sex during pregnancy is perfectly safe, as long as you are having a healthy pregnancy and your doctor has not told you otherwise. Usually, the exhaustion, nausea, and other symptoms of pregnancy that occur during the first trimester can cause a woman to not feel very sexy. But your sex drive should return once you are in your second trimester. As a matter of fact, your big belly may provide a great opportunity for you and your partner to start experimenting with some new positions, such as the scissors. Just remember to take it slow and discuss any discomfort you might have with your partner and doctor.

Direct any further questions to
advicefromthesexgoddess@gmail.com

Edible Lotion Recipe

2009-10-14T15:54:00.000-07:00

In my welcome and introduction, I promised recipes for homemade edible lotions. I do make good on my promises so here you go!

This recipe is for my personal favorite! I have labeled it Sexy Edible Warming Chocolate Lotion (new name suggestions are welcome)!

2 tb. glycerin
1 tb. cocoa powder
1 tb. melted cocoa butter
Mix well.

Combine all ingredients and apply

Note: you can purchase glycerin from a drug store or usually in the grocery store down the baking aisle. Also note that this will only create a small amount; just enough for the area you plan on licking the most. However to make enough for the full body, just simply add more ingredients until you get the desired quantity.

direct any further questions to
advicefromthesexgoddess@gmail.com

Move the Love Around!

2009-10-14T15:01:00.000-07:00

When you're in a long term relationship with someone, the sex can start to get boring and redundant. Therefore, I have a great plan for you to keep it spicy! I always tell my clients that you can never let the flame die out! Once it does, it can be very hard to rekindle. Therefore, we must keep the fire bruning hot and not allow it to flicker, but to remain burning strong!

My advice to keep the sex flame from flickering is to move the love around! What I mean by that is love making is not just for the bedroom! Don't get complacent with just having sex in the bedroom. When you do something long enough, it starts to get boring and then you get into a routine and it's identical and will no longer be fun. So, we need to move the love making from the bedroom and explore other avenues!

Try going out into the hallway, the shower, the guest bedroom, the kitchen table, etc. Also, sex doesn't have to be restricted to your house! Go out to the car and find a comfortable posistion!

Love making can be exciting and fun no matter where you take it. Get bold and daring and don't be afraid to christen other rooms in the house or your car. Moving the love around is what keeps the sex from getting boring. The excitement is what keeps you from doing it just to be doing it as opposed to experiencing real enjoyment. Remember, sex is supposed to be enjoyable for all involved. You can reach an orgasm by yourself and if you keep tuning in, I will show my list of top 10 sex toys for the single woman. Or for the man who is interested in launching his woman's pleasure into the stratosphere!

Direct any further questions to
advicefromthesexgoddess@gmail.com

Sex on the Period

2009-10-13T20:14:00.000-07:00

A common question that I get asked by some of the most sexual beings is if it is safe to have sex during the menstrual cycle.

The simple answer to this is YES! It is absolutely safe to have sex during your period, as long as you don't use this an excuse to have unprotected sex. The myth that sex during your period is dangerous originates largely from religious texts. Scientifically, however, there is no reason not to have sex during your period.

In fact, sex while you are menstruating can help ease the symptoms of PMS if you achieve orgasm. An orgasm releases endorphins, natural painkillers, and mood enhancers, which can help with the cramps, headaches, and irritability associated with periods. Also, many women enjoy sex more when they are menstruating because of the increased feelings of fullness in the pelvic and genital areas, which give you a head start on arousal. Not to mention that the vagina is a lot more lubricated during menstruation.

There is a down side though! Safe sex is even more crucial during your period! A woman's risk of sexually transmitted disease and infection is higher than normal during menstruation because the cervix opens to allow blood to pass through. This creates the perfect pathway for bacteria to travel deep inside the pelvic cavity. A woman is also more likely to pass on blood borne diseases like HIV and hepatitis to a partner during her period, and she's more likely to develop yeast or bacterial infections because the vagina's pH during menstruation is less acidic. Finally, there is still a chance that you could get pregnant during your period, unless you are taking birth control, so don't assume it's safe to forgo contraception!

Feel free to leave comments and discuss amongst yourselves!

Direct any additional questions or comments to
advicefromthesexgoddess@gmail.com

Question of the Day 10/13/09

2009-10-13T20:03:00.000-07:00

Q: How does a man approach a woman about her monthly cycle without embarassing himself or the woman? In other words, if I want to make plans and take a woman I've been seeing for a while and there is the expectation that we will probably make love at some point, how do I ask that question without neccessarily asking that question if you know what I mean?

A: That's a very good question. You don't just want to come out of the blue and ask her if she is on her period! If you are in the mood, don't ask her if she's on her period, just do what you would normally do. Start with kissing and playful touching. You know, a little light foreplay! If she stops you, that's how you find out.

Direct any further questions to
advicefromthesexgoddess@gmail.com

Question of the Day 9/24/09

2009-09-23T22:58:00.000-07:00

Q: "Dear Sex Goddess, sometimes I'm just doing simple things like watching t.v. and cooking, just doing totally non-sexual things, and I’ll have a feeling in my groin that’s like having an orgasm. What do you think is the cause of it?"

A: I think what you may be experiencing are spontaneous orgasms. A spontaneous orgasm is when a person has an unanticipated climactic response without genital contact, or at least any that she is aware of. Effortless indulgence of genital sensations may be a physical response to things like the fabric from tight shorts rubbing up against your genitals, or rocking movements that tease the groin, or the unconscious tightening and releasing of your pelvic floor muscles.

Orgasms for women can catch them by surprise during activities involving pressure and/or vibrations against the vulva. Thigh pressure against a woman’s vulva, especially her clitoris, has been known to unexpectedly hurl her into orgasmic bliss. These extragenital responses occur because an orgasm is a reflexive release of sexual tension that can occur during any number of activities.

People claim to get sexually aroused to the point of orgasm from various unorthodox stimuli: certain exercise positions, jazz music, certain smells, deep breathing techniques, exams, etc. In the book, "Let's Talk Sex", by Isadora Alman, a man explains how he can have orgasms while doing leg-lifts and sit-ups in a certain way, and a woman also has orgasms during sit-ups and aerobics classes. All folks are different, but there are a few others like you!

Any further questions, direct them to
advicefromthesexgoddess@gmail.com!

Where are the biggest penises located?

2009-09-21T10:37:00.000-07:00

“Manhunt,” an online cruising network for men has been been compiling its users’ penis lengths since the site added “cock size” as a profile feature. Now, the work has finally paid off!

The 5 states with the largest average penis size:

1. District of Columbia - 7.59
2. New York - 7.50
3. California - 7.45
4. Florida - 7.44
5. Kentucky - 7.42

The 5 states with the smallest average penis size:

1. Alaska - 6.34
2. Wyoming - 6.92
3. Delaware - 6.94
4. Arkansas - 6.96
5. Oklahoma - 6.96

Obviously, there is no way of telling how accurate this graph is; short of going to every man that posted their size and actually measuring for yourself. I seriously doubt that's going to happen!

Direct any further questions to
advicefromthesexgoddess@gmail.com

Does Size Matter?

2009-09-21T10:10:00.000-07:00

One of the things that I often talk with people about is if size matters. Men are obsessed with their penises, even if they don't realize it. Most men live in constant fear that their manhood is not big enough. What they don't realize is that a recent study, involving 800 men of all shapes, races, and sizes, concluded that the average penis size is 5.5 inches. I know men everywhere reading this have just breathed a sigh of relief! LOL!

Women simply don't care about size. There will be the odd ones who say it is very important, but they are usually the ones who love aggressive sex. Women do talk about their men's penises...often. But most of the time, the focus isn't on size; we focus more on what you did with it. A man can be hung like a horse and pumping his ass off and it won't feel good because he doesn't know what he's doing. Then there can be a man hung like a toddler and is pumping his ass off and it's the greatest sensation ever! Good sex is not about how big the penis is, it's about what the man does with his penis and how he moves it around!

Whether a penis is 4,6, or 8 inches, if used properly, it can satisfy her and give her an evening of passion and lust. The maximum depth at which female stimulation can occur in the vagina is just 2 inches (Through masturbation, many women reported being able to reach orgasm by lightly scratching her cervical area while stimulating her clitoris. Penile penetration would not be able to do this due to the shape and fleshy feel...but fingers can.). Problem is, most men run right over the 2-inch barrier in an effort to create friction, putting all those extra inches to waste.

The real barrier to great sex is not size. For the most part, it's weight. Men with obtrusive beer bellies appear and feel smaller then they are. The general consensus is that the fat prevents men from being able to adequately penetrate a woman, thus making him feel smaller. On the flip side, if the woman is severely overweight, the same problem occurs.

Also, some women may enjoy a smaller penis size. Men considered below average in length and width are considered ideal for giving oral sex. Their size fits easily within a woman’s small mouth, thus minimizing fatigue to her jaw and allowing her to continue sucking and licking for a long period of time without the danger of choking.

Another advantage of penises on the average to smaller scale includes anal sex. For the women who enjoy this, smaller is definitely better. If the guy is too big, this option is far too painful.

However, I feel remiss not to discuss the pro's of a big penis! Large size, either in circumference and/or length provides an ample runway that enable a woman to slide and rub her genitalia over the entire male organ and bring both to climax quickly without penetration.

Large men also have the advantage in doing it doggy style or in a scissors fashion. Length proves optimal in several sexual positions where the distance between them and the depths of a woman’s vagina is expansive.

Any further questions, direct them to advicefromthesexgoddess@gmail.com!

Question of the Day 9/19/09

2009-09-19T16:41:00.000-07:00

Q: "Dear Sex Goddess, how do I find the g-spot on a girl and how much pleasure does it give? "

A: Stimulation of the G-spot produces a very powerful kind of female orgasm; and in some women, it even produces female ejaculation, also known as "squirting." Finding, stimulating, and discovering how to master the woman's G-spot has become, for both men and women, the Holy Grail of female pleasuring!

First of all, the G-spot is easiest to locate when a woman is sexually aroused, so don't skip on your foreplay first. (You knew I would get that in!) To find the woman's G-spot, face your partner while she is lying on her back and insert your index or middle finger into her vagina as far as it will easily go. Then crook it up toward yourself in a "come here" motion, sliding your fingertip along the top of the vagina until you find an area that is rougher than the rest of the vaginal wall. (Make sure you have your fingernails clipped short before you do this. Sharp fingernails will definitely spoil the effort!) This rough or slightly ridged area is the "G-spot," and touching it will often cause a woman to react with surprise or pleasure.

If you don't get a reaction, don't be too shy to ask her if she feels especially sensitive when you touch what you think is the spot. You may need to use a fair amount of pressure to find the G-spot because it is located within, and not on the outside of, the vaginal wall.

Sometimes it helps to use your other hand on the outside of the mons pubis (the hairy area above the pubic bone) to lightly massage the skin in the area where your crooked finger is touching to intensify the effect. Also, not all women are G-spot sensitive, so don't get discouraged if you can't get a special reaction. While some women are capable of multiple orgasms with repetitive stimulation of the G-spot, others don't get much of a feeling and some even feel discomfort from G-spot stimulation. However, don't worry, every woman will appreciate the attention and the effort! And while searching, you might discover other areas in her vagina that she responds to even more enthusiastically.

Any further questions, direct them to
advicefromthesexgoddess@gmail.com!

Anal Sex

2009-09-18T19:15:00.000-07:00

Ok, ladies and gentelman, anal sex is a common question for me. "How do I know if my girlfriend wants to have anal sex"? Well, you don't know unless you ask them or actually try to do it! If you find that you cant bring the subject of anal sex up directly with her then you need to move forward with care and caution! Some women might totally freak out if you ask her about it casually, but in the heat of the moment if you play your cards right, she might find the sensation so pleasurable she totally forgets her inhibitions!

Unlike the vagina, the rectum doesn't self lubricate, its lining is also delicate and prone to tearing, so no rough cuticles or hang nails, or forcing things to happen; and never without proper lubrication. Let me be very clear here, it hurts like hell! Start by giving her some oral action on the clitoris. I cannot stress this enough! ON THE CLITORIS! The clitoris is what gives the sensation, not sticking your tongue into the vagina, not sucking on the lips, but licking and sucking on the clitoris! Anyhow, give her oral action on the clitoris, then start caressing the undersides of her butt with your fingers and keep your ears and eyes open for her reactions, then slowly move towards her anus. If her breathing quickens even more, if she starts making more noise, than you can whisper to her as your fingers inch closer, asking her if you can put them in. If she shakes her head and tenses up, today's not your day!

If she shrugs or moans but ignores the question, or says something like "yeah, that sounds good" dont be greedy! Again move slowly! The anus is so sensitive that simply stroking the entrance of it while going down on her will add fireworks! In fact, that's how you should start. Also, remember to use extra lubricant!

Once you find out that she actually enjoys this sort of stimulation then you can branch out into using toys and anal intercourse, but always remember that you shouldn't push her farther than she's comfortable with because it's something that's meant to add pleasure can end up causing pain.

Just like vaginal sex, anal sex does come with risks. We know about the risks of sexually transmitted diseases, however, there is an increased risk of anal cancer due to HPV (Human Papilloma Virus). There is also the risk of physical damage and anal incontinence. Anal incontinence is the loss of control over the bowels. It is rare but it is a valid concern.

Any further questions, direct them to advicefromthesexgoddess@gmail.com!

WELCOME!!

2009-09-18T18:54:00.000-07:00

Hello everybody and welcome to advicefromthesexgoddess! I am a sex therapist and sex guru and according to the people I've helped, I have quality advice! I will be covering random things, from hot spots to the best toys for the bedroom! I even have recipes for homemade edible lotion! I will also be taking questions and posting answers! If you feel that you are in need of advice from the sex goddess, feel free to send me an email at advicefromthesexgoddess@gmail.com! I will post responses to the questions here on the blog within 48 hours!